What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago today I took a test that would make known one of the greatest blessings we will know in this life. When I announced to the blogging world that we were expecting again, I left out a tiny detail because I was really too embarassed to admit it. I still remember it so vividly and it's probably a time in my life that I will never forget. I was sitting in my bathroom, the lines had just appeared, I had deciphered that it meant I actually was pregnant, I was in shock but I was smiling and really just about laughing at the thought that I was pregnant again - UNTIL - my still-little-itty-bitty Hannah Cate crawled into the bathroom and into my eyesight. And I lost it, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I wasn't sad for me, I was sad for her. I felt guilty that I was going to have to split my time when she still needed me so much. She was still so little. How was I possibly ready to love another baby as much as I loved her? My sweet and wise husband reminded me later that we still had 7 months and that Hannah Cate wouldn't be so itty-bitty when the new baby came along. That has proven to be so, so true. As I look back at pictures from the time we found out and now, Hannah Cate has grown so much and has gone from a crawling baby to a running toddler. Not to mention the fact that she absolutely LOVES her sister. The saying "shared joy is double joy" comes to mind because Hannah Cate has truly shared in the joy of Maddie and it's added a whole new and exciting element to having a baby. And the "can I love two factor" has never crossed my mind again since I first held Maddie in my arms. I love her just the same!

My sweet Maddie-girl, I'm so glad that you are ours. I'm terribly sorry that I ever once doubted whether or not I was ready for you, because I love you so and cannot imagine our lives without you. I will forever thank the Lord for the true blessing that you are!